''Is the writers strike over yet?''

Apparently not, children... apparently not... ¬_¬

So, is anyone else as big an old fogey as me to remember when Rareware made a GOOD game?
Y'know, like, BEFORE their asses... -ets... assets? Yea, that's it. Their assetsgot bought by a certain company whose name we won't mention because they took a small series of awesome games, stripped away what made them awesome and instead forced the heroes drive cars and and expected to rake in some dough because of it!
How'd we get here again?

Oh, yes, Rareware, the geniuses... genius'? Geniei? Geniuseseseses? The smart folks who brought us that oh-so fantastic bear and bird duo who fought off an evil ugly witch with eggs and a nestful of puns and self-referencial humour, otherwise known as...


But, seeing how Rare are no longer allowed to give the fanbase what they want and are instead forced to cocktease us with their double-trouble icons, we might as well find another tag-team who are able to go out there and start whipping Gruntilda Winkybunion's butt...

Laddies and gentle girls, may I introduce two new heroes to fill the Turbo Trainers of the Bear and Bird!
*drumroll*

Aren't I a genius, myself? ... Umm, myself? Hey, myself, where'd you go? Hey! HEY!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEE-

What makes these two so fucking original? Well, Wreks is a dinosaur, maybe a Carnotaurus or something (coz of his horns and whatnot) and he's stuffed a Pteranodon named Pterrie into his orange backpack in hopes of taking the place of Banjo and Kazooie since Nuts and Bolts became the Dark Age for Rare's top partners-in-witch-kicking.

Seriously, that's their story; Wreks heard about a Honey Bear running around with a Breegul in a blue backpack and wanted to replace them, so he grabbed a nearby Pteranodon and forced him into his own orange backpack, then set off to take Banjo's place.

Wreks is an arrogant musclehead who (as is hinted in his name) loves to wreck things, while Pterrie is a childesh coward who lets Wreks do all the ballsy stuff; at least Kazooie's not afraid to tell even the largest enemy what she thinks of them, Pterrie just hides in the backpack until the threat's gone.


Obviously, the Bear and Bird aren't impressed at the hopeful imposters, but who's got what it takes: the wannabes or the hasbeens?
There's only one way to find out...
FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!


Banjo and Kazooie (C) Rareware (FUCK YOU, MICROSOFT)
Wreks, Pterrie and art belong to me